I am beyond darkness
Sammy Novick, university student
My 2020 has been a personal tough journey. It has been the toughest and hardest year to face. This year has been the most difficult mentally that stretched beyond to my imagination of what I thought I was going to face. My expectations of my personal challenges were set lower than anticipated with what I have endured over the last few tough months.
Unfortunately, this year began with the passing of my greatest friend, Cookie, my beloved dog. Over time, the pain I endured just got worse. Socially, I had my own private problems with a few old friends, who I had to cut out of my life for the greater good of my well-being. My insecurities and self esteem suffered a big blow. Not so soon after, my demons were becoming more powerful as dark thoughts rose in to my mind, telling me all sorts of dangerous and scary things to do to myself.
I struggled. I fought. I won.
From slowly and intensely overcoming the hardest battle of my life, where I am now on the strong road to recovery, I have learnt a few things. I have learnt a few private, but vital tough life lessons. I have built greater resilience than ever. If I over came this battle, which was as if it was my own World War Three, I could over come anything. I have become stronger. I have become wiser. I have gone through certain sensitive experiences which I believe could help younger generations when I grow up. In this way, I can help people to not be alone in times of darkness:
In terrible times of telling yourself you are not worthy, you are not right, you are not ok, you don’t deserve anything, you are rotten and the list goes on.
Within these times, I can be other peoples’ beaming light to give them hope.
Because if I overcame this darkness, I could over come anything.
But if I did this, anyone can.
By sharing my most challenging story, I can help others. This gives me purpose and motivation to keep going when times get rough. I hope to be in a privileged situation, where I could be others source of inspiration.
Life is short. Life is to be lived. Life is to be fulfilled as well as it can be.
Life is not for self-destruction.
I was very close to losing- but I didn’t. I need to focus on the positives out of a terrible situation I was in: I overcame the darkness.
From sharing this brief summary of a very, very difficult, intense few months, starting from January 2020 and up till now, where I have found some source of light to guide me on the right path to recovery, I have been able to reflect and see a huge positive out of a huge negative battle.
I have overcome the darkness. This means I can overcome anything. I have gone beyond my expectations of what mental challenges I would face. This means I can go beyond any form of darkness by finding some source of hope and light.
